Super Smash Brothers: Truth or Dare
by Mr.InsaneGuy
Summary: What happens when the fighters of Super Smash Brothers Brawl have to go through this Truth or Dare... Absolute Madness
1. It Begins Yet Again

**Welcome to SSBB Truth or Dare**

**Author's Note: This will be written in a non script format due to the fact that if I don't, 20 "critics" are going to bitch and complain about the format. So if you are apart of Eliminator, Critics United, etc, SHUT THE FUCK UP! You have no special authority/privileges, therefore you are not better than anyone else.**

**With that out-of-the-way... let's get started.**

** Ness's POV**

Going to Smash Bros. after such a horrible time at the ToD mansion was a great relief to some of the crap that went on in the past two weeks. Bob's robot guard killed my girlfriend's (Paula) parents and refused to revive them because they were intruding during a fiddle-playing contest between me and Bob and she has cried ever since. Bob was about, I'd say, 16-years-old with powers greater than any form of PSI and always had a revolver on him. He was tall, had somewhat messy hair, and, like his username says, he was insane! Making my friends and I do horrible things because he just had to.

It is finally over, but the impact of the event will be around for the rest of my life. A time I really want to forget. Lucas, my friend from many years in the future, had a better time. Sure, he did the same horrible things as me, but his mother and brother were brought back to life along with the brother's new girlfriend. I feel a bit jealous because he has the chance to life his life with a happy family once more while I had to go to a funeral, but that does not mean I'm not happy for him.

We arrived to the old Smash Manor, the housing for all of us fighters, and something just felt off. I didn't know what, but I ignored it. We were safe here.

"I wonder where Pit and Toony (Toon Link) are?" Lucas asked to himself.

Just then, a flight-less angel and a small warrior walked up and greeted us.

"Lucas! Ness! How's it been" Toony greeted.

"Not so well," I said.

"Why is that?" Pit asked

"I'll explain later"

"Hopefully, you don't prank Samus again" said Toony "She nearly ripped the place apart looking for the person that stole her spaceship,"

"It was one of my greatest works" I bragged.

I was known for pull pranks and tricking people at Smash Manor. When I pull a prank, most people laugh. Samus, however, would just beat the person responsible and speak of the devil, she was right behind us in her Power suit.

"So you were the brat that stole my gunship," she said in a pissed off tone. "It took me seven hours the find the damn thing and ten more hours to repair the damage after you crashed it. How did you even start it? I had a password system enabled!"

"I literally just typed in 1234 and it worked"

She then elbowed me, knocking me to the ground. Then she stood above me.

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood!"

I got up onto my feet as she left. The things she had been through in her past really made her a horrible person to be around. The only living thing she'll hang out with and be nice to is Pikachu. I don't know why, but maybe she just has a soft spot for cute lightning-shooting mice.

"Ness, Lucas, a guest has come to visit you two," said the ROB. "He also says ' HELLO MOTHA' FUCKA'S, I am back!'... that is all... have a nice day"

"Who would leave such a rude message?" Pit commented.

"Oh, fuck. Not again!" I yelled.

"Is... he really back?" Lucas added.

"Okay, what is going on," yelled Toony, "Something must have happened after we left Smash Bros, so spit it out!

Lucas and I told them the entire story while he walked to the office of Master Hand. I told them about my abduction and the Truth or Dare Mansion. I also told them about the death's of Paula's parents at the end of the event and about Bob.

"So, this guy will do this here?" asked Pit.

"Most likely" Lucas answered.

"Most likely, indeed!"

It was him. He just stood there, revolver in hand with his guard, Robot Jesus, right beside him.

**Author's Note: Robot Jesus is not like regular, awesome Jesus in any way. Robot Jesus is evil and turns living things into dead things. He was a joke made by friends of mine that some might find offensive. So, don't cry to me about it saying your offended. I'm sorry if I did.**

"I kinda thought this guy would be more of a... god," stated Pit.

"Penguin, I am more than a god"

"Why are you calling me penguin?"

"You have wings, but you can't fly. Just like a penguin! If you'll excuse me, I need to call the other smashers to the living room." He put his hands around his mouth. "Get the fuck down here!"

Everyone suddenly popped up in the living room. Another spell, I assume.

"I am , call me Bob, Ness and Lucas already know me and they will be having the pleasure to play my little game again. This game is truth or dare."

"Oh, I love Truth or Dare!" Peach exclaimed.

"It is not the traditional style, Princess Toadstool, It is one where other people send in their Truth or Dares for all of you.

"Where is the fun for us?" asked Sonic.

"It depends on the dare, but very little fun is typically involved. It is more for me and everyone how sends the truth or dares in."

"I don't get it" said Olimar.

"Don't you see!" yelled Lucas, "We are trapped here with this madman shooting us in the knee every five seconds" Just then, Lucas was shot in the stomach.

"Lucas, I am not that predictable."

"What is wrong with you," yelled Luigi, "You really are crazy!"

"HEAL!" yelled Bob. Lucas's shot wound has healed instantly as a result of another spell, "Here are the rules for the people sending in ToD's (Truth or Dares),"

Send all request in a PM to .

3 ToD's minimum, 10 at max, and I can omit ToD's as needed. I will omit singing dares and most fucked up sex dares.

Keep the ToD's T rated, I will move it to M is needed but for now, keep it T.

"With all of that said... ULTIMATE CHIMERA! Rise and murder everyone!"

review


	2. Yummy Yummy Fried Falco

3rd person POV

It was a lovely day at Smash Manor. Birds were chirping and Bob was doing a parody of Gangnam Style.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, bitchy lady," Bob sung while pointing at Samus, who was wearing the power suit minus the helmet, she was very annoyed by the singing and dancing, but it was somewhat bearable to her. "Brawler Style!" Bob sung finishing the song.

"Sir," said Robot Jesus in his typically robotic voice, " Gangnam Style is... obsolete... the new meme is... Harlem... Shake,"

"What is this 'Harlem Shake'," Samus asked.

"Well... let me... initialize it"

Just then Robot Jesus is dancing along to some music he is playing through one of his speakers. He was dancing like a drunk, three-legged pig for about fifteen seconds, then when the music said 'Do the Harlem Shake', many of the smashers jumped out of nowhere acting like a bunch of morons.

"Wow, that was quite possibly the worst thing I have ever seen" said Samus.

"Well let's get goin' on the ToD's" Bob yelled in enthusiasm, "The first ToD's for today come from xXTGWMNXx, and he wants Olimar to eat his pikmin.

"uh... I can't do that," Olimar whimpered.

"Why not?" asked Bob, "They die all the time, you might as well try a couple of pikmin."

"It's not that," Olimar said, "It's just the fact that I can't breathe oxygen, it is a deadly gas for me and my people."

Once Bob heard of this, he raised a fist in the air. The fist glowed bright as the sun. Then, with all of his power, he punched Olimar square in the nose, breaking his helmet. The punch was stronger than any Falcon punch, and more awesome than a Panda with sunglasses. Olimar flew across the room, hitting the wall with great force. He got up and started to get angry, something that he rarely ever does, until he realized he was breathing oxygen with out his eyeballs exploding.

"Wow!" said Olimar in awe, "How did you do that?"

"Awesome wizard powers, spaceman, now eat up"

Olimar then started eatting his pikmin, they tasted amazing, except for the white one that killed him.

"On to you Ike, eat Falco"

"What?!" Ike yelled.

"If you kill him, I will cook him up like fried chicken and give him to you."

Ike stabbed Falco in the head, gave him to Bob, and turned the bird...man...pilot, into fried chicken. Ike took a bite of him and was very pleased with the taste.

"This is madness!" Yelled Fox, "Your just eating Falco and you don't care at all!"

"Fox," said Ness, "get used to the stupid things that will happen here."

After a full course meal of fried Falco, Bob moved on to the next ToD.

"Pit, you must kill Palutena"

"No no no! Not that! Anything but that," Pit pleaded.

"Well we can't do it now... she's not here... GET OVER HERE BEYOTCH!" Tre yelled casting a teleportation spell. Palutena appeared in front of everyone, looking very confused.

"Ha! You evil man, Lady Palutena can handle you" Pit laughed.

"What is going on?" asked Palutena.

"The world's greatest game for my amusement, Smash Bros Truth or Dare!"

"Your heart is filled with insanity and you are quite the powerful wizard but I will defeat you!" yelled Palutena.

"Disable Goddess powers" said Bob. Once said, all of Palutena's powers were gone and could not be used, "Pit, murder her... NOW"

"I don't care what happens to me, I will never let your influence make me take the life of Lady Palutena."

"Wow, Pit your decision just made Palutena stay here along with you guys" Bob laughed.

"You probably would have none it anyway" yelled Lucas.

"Oh, you're right, moving on to the next set of ToD's we have the al powerful guest, so Penguin... you are an actually penguin."

Pit turned into a penguin before everyone's eyes.

"Oh, I get it," Palutena realized, "You have wings and you can't fly!"

"Not funny" Pit said with apathy.

"Well, at least you are even more cute than before!" Palutena said while tickiling Pit's Penguin belly.

"Now," Bob continued, "Luigi must kill Mario for putting him in the shadows for all these years.

"I never felt like I was in the shadow, "Luigi protested, "Sure, I don't go on every adventure, but Mario deserves the attention he gets, and when people say I never 'get the girl', I don't mind because in my eyes, Mario and the princess were meant to be."

"Thank you bro, and even though you don't have a problem with it, sorry for not bringing you along on the adventures,"

"Well, that was lame," Bob yawned, "Moving on to peach, How do you get kidnapped so many fucking times."

"My security guards are only two feet tall and just a little less afraid of Bowser,"

"That explains everything" Bob said, " I guess we are done for today so … smoke bomb," Bob threw down a smoke bomb and ran to the nearest window.


	3. Shitty Power Suit

Another beautiful day at Smash Manor, means an interview with Bob.

"Mr. Insaneguy, thank you for coming to your ToD host evaluation," said the interviewer.

"No problem, Motha' fucka,'' said Bob.

"So, you're in charge around here, am I correct?"

"Of course, I am Bob"

"Okay can you take us through the average day of Bob?"

"Well the first thing I do is... Wake up like a Bob" sung Bob as he woke from his bed atop a pile of skulls.

"Hi-five a robot like a Bob" sung Bob as he Hi-fived Robot Jesus.

"Meet the Smashers like a Bob, Ride a Yoshi like a Bob, Beat the Yoshi like a Bob, Host a ToD show like a Bob," Bob sung as he shot Luigi in the kneecap.

"Be insane like a Bob, Kill Pikachu like a Bob, with my gun like a Bob," sung Bob as he aims the gun at Pikachu. Pikachu looks into his eyes with sadness and Bob looked at him, thinking about how guilty he would feel if he shoot Pikachu.

"I can't do it!," Bob yelled.

"Pussy out like a Bob,"

"Kill Jigglypuff like a Bob,"

"No one likes her like a Bob,"

"Shit on the Power suit," Bob sung as he is taking a giant dump inside Samus's Power suit.

"Blow up the Mansion like a Bob,"

"I'm still alive like a Bob,"

"So, that is a typical for you, huh?,"

"Yup, cuz' I'm a Bob,"

"I already know that sir,"

"I'm a Bob,"

"Fuck this!" yelled the interviewer in frustration, "You passed! Go along with your fucking day!"

As the interviewer left the manor, Bob threw in one more 'Like a Bob' which made the interviewer crash his car, killing himself.

"Assholes," Bob muttered, "Always interviewing me because it is required by the damn ToD community,"

Over on the other side of the room the ladies, Peach, Zelda, Samus, and Palutena, were talking about the recent meme reference

(Author's Note: Do you want me to do more of these memes at the beginning of the story? Let me know)

"Samus," Zelda started, " I would not go in that suit if I were you,"

"I thought something smelled like shit this mourning," Samus stated. Just then, Pikachu ran by and jumped onto Samus's lap.

"Aw," said Palutena,"That is so cute, he likes you so much"

"Pikachu has always liked me, ever since the first Smash tournament. I don't know why"

"I wish I had a little animal friend," Peach said.

"I already have one," Palutena crowed, looking at Pit, who was still a penguin.

"I wish I were an angel again," Pit pleaded.

"Your in luck," Bob announced, "There is a Dare that turns you back into an angel by Abei the lazy. As a matter a fact, these chunk of ToD's are from this person,"

Pit was immediately turned back into the angel he was. Pit was very overjoyed at this and was running around very happily until the next part of his Dare was called out.

"But, you must make out with Palutena,"

"What?" yelled Pit, partly from shock and partly because he thought this was a very awesome dream.

"You heard it, make out with the goddess" Bob urged.

Tired of Pit's nervousness, Palutena walked up to Pit, grabbed him, and started to make out with him. Pit was in a state of disbelief, he had always had a certain fondness of the goddess, but he never thought he would be kissing her.

Palutena eventually stopped, letting go of the angel, and took a seat back where she was.

"Th- That was... amazing," Pit cheered.

The ladies looked at Palutena in surprise.

"To be honest," Palutena whispered, "I have always wanted to do that. I find Pit quite handsome and he is such a nice guy,"

"I'm shocked that you kissed that moron," Samus said

"Do you hate everyone here?" Bob asked.

"Mostly," Samus answered.

"What a bitch, moving on, the next ToD says for Ike to be a vegetarian for three chapters,"

"Chapters?" puzzled everyone

"Shit! Broke the fourth wall. Oh well, King DeDeDe, how did you get your name?"

"Well, It came from my great-great-grandfather King De and he fought..."

"Sorry!" Bob interrupted, "I don't give a fuck!"

"Well, fine then!" yelled King DeDeDe.

"Marth, how is your wife," Bob asked.

"Well, I sure she is worried sick about me because..."

"I still don't give a fuck!" Bob interrupted.

"I won't see her for a while, will I?" Marth asked referring to his wife.

"No," Bob said,

Captain Falcon walked up to Samus, showing off his muscles. Samus was, of course, not amused by the muscled peacock known as Captain Falcon. Seeing how he is failing, he went for his ultimate pick-up line as a last resort.

"Show me your boobs," Captain Falcon smirked.

"What gives you the idea to say that to me!" Samus snapped. She got up from her seat and punched him right in the face.

"Your sexy zero suit," Captain Falcon replied, "But I prefer if it were an actual 'zero' suit,"

"Now the next ToD is for Samus, and you have to kick either captain or snake in the balls, but if you kick Captain Falcon, you gotta kiss Zelda. Kick Snake, you gotta kiss Link.

Zelda looked at Samus in a jealous, don't-you-dare-take-my-man way. Samus ignored Zelda and thought about what Snake or Captain Falcon has ever done to her. While Snake does flirt with her a bit, he does it in a way that that does not piss her off and could make her giggle everyone in a while. On the other hand, Captain Falcon just wants to get laid and always tells Samus to take off her suit. She decided to kick Captain Falcon and did not really care if she had to kiss Zelda.

"I'll kick Falcon," Samus declared.

"What?" Link screamed. He never really spoke much, but knowing that Samus was about to kiss her women did not set well with him.

"Link, I am doing this because I hate Captain Falcon, not because I find Zelda attractive."

Link calmed down a bit. He was still worried though. Samus kick Captian Falcon in the balls so hard, that the chances of him having a child were slim to none (which is probably a good thing).

"Now," Bob announced, "For the first time in fanfiction history, a lesbian kiss. Wow!"

Samus, wanting to get this over with, gave Zelda a little peck on the lips and the kiss was done.

"The next ToD's are from the All Powerful Guest and and he gives Luigi the choice to kill Mario or drown in an alkali bath, but all I heard was drown in an alkali bath. So, Robot Jesus, prepare the tub and throw Luigi in it."

Robot Jesus got the tub filled with alkali. He threw Luigi in the tub and laughed at the screams of pain Luigi was making.

"Lucas, go read some twincest story about you and your cyborg brother," Bob said.

"No,"

"Lucas, it's a dare, no it or your penis will explode,"

"Uh... still no,"

Lucas's crotch exploded, officially making him a flat-chested female.

"Ness, I ignored this one last chapter because you had already been there and it fucked you up," Bob sympathized, "but sorry, you gotta go to rule 34 land."

"No, not there again!" Ness screamed.

"What's rule 34 land?" Toon Link asked.

"A horrible where everyone is in a fucked up porn scene," Ness responded.

Everyone one just paused in a very awkward silence until Bob teleported Ness to Rule 34 land.

"Anyway, Samus either if you do this dare, I will clean out your power suit. Which is probably about to overflow anyway."

"What is it?" Samus asked apathetically.

"Listen to my parody of Gangnam style for ten whole hours!"

Samus paused for a bit, thinking about her options. "Okay, I'll do it, only because it would take me forever to get rid of the smell,"

"Yeah, I was sick with a stomach bug last night and it did not go well,"

"Your disgusting!" Peach shrieked.

"Only when I'm ill. Moving on, Bowser, Why do you kidnap Peach so damn much?"

"I'm lonely," Bowser cried, "and I want her to be my wife,"

"So you kidnap me form my kingdom and boyfriend, lock me in a cage and keep me there until I agree to marry you," Peach yelled.

"... yes," Bowser said.

"Now, by the order of xXTGWMNXx, eat the princess!" Bob demanded.

Bowser moved up to where the ladies were sitting and stared into Zelda's eyes. Zelda was confused because she thought Peach would be eaten, but Zelda was wrong when Bowser shoved her into his mouth and swallowed her whole.

"God damn it, Bowser," Bob yelled, "Peach! Eat Princess Peach, Toadstool, the blonde chick in the pink fucking dress! Eat her!"

Just imagine the paraghraph about eating Zelda, but replace Zelda with Peach. (LAZY-NESS)

"And, xXTGWMNXx, there are no remains since Peach was swallowed whole. So, unless you want Mario eating shit, we are skipping that dare.

"What?" Mario yelled.

"Nothin'," Bob said, " and apparently there is something about link cheating on Zelda with princess Ruto, but that is not true because Link is not true because I can read minds, so I can confirm if Link is cheating and he is not," (I see what you were trying to do there, stir up conflict. Silly xXTGWMNXx)

"Are we done now?" Lucas asked, "I am tired of having a crater where my balls used to be,"

"We are done," Bob confirmed, "So with that said... Jihad!"

Bob blew up along with the entire mansion in a fiery explosion. (I gotta stop playing TTT)


	4. Nighttime ToD's w requested characters

It was a nice peaceful night in Smash Manor. The crickets were chirping and everyone but ROB and Robot Jesus was in deep sleep. The two robots were having discussions on their features, upgrades, and future modifications they plan on getting. They were also discussing the next ToD session.

"I'll... tell you right now...," said Robot Jesus, "You are... not in any of the dares,"

"Oh, thank goodness," ROB replied, "After the horrible things I witness... I would not want to be caught up... later on. Seems that there... are more people leaving truth or... dares,"

"Master Bob... will have to spend some more time on these T...oD's,"

The whole room suddenly turned red from alarm lights. A bell rang, waking Bob up from his long slumber. He rushed to the living room were Robot Jesus was located.

"Robot Jesus," Bob yelled, "What's going on!"

"Sounds like a break-in, the power was...out a while back,"

"Now I have to reset my alarm clock," Bob sighed.

Bob went to the portal where all people from all universes come in. He stood there guarding the door until a blonde, teenage girl in a pink dress ran over along with Ness. She was frightened by Bob, nearly paralyzed with fear. Ness and the girl tried to run to the portal, but Robot Jesus held the girl at gun point with a shotgun.

"Paula!" Bob said, "Why are you here at this hour of the night?"

"Because, I wanted to get Ness out of here. All smashers usually visit home every month, but it has been a month longer than that. I figured you came here, to Smash Brothers.

"Ness," Bob smirked, "Your girlfriend is quite the smart one, but she has failed to understand that insanity always wins,"

"Um... sir...," Robot Jesus said, trying to prove him wrong.

"Oh quiet! Now Paula, did anyone else come through the portal?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Because, I have your parent's souls trapped in a jar and if I throw it in a pit of lava or better yet, feed them to my pet dinosaur, they are gone forever.

"Don't!" Paula cried, " I'll tell. There was a woman who said she was the wife of someone named Marth, some friends of Sonic, a purple fox, and a few people that look like they were from ancient greek or something. Please don't make their souls disappear forever!" At this point she was on the floor, crying her eyes out with only Ness to comfort her.

"Let's send it out, Subject 617," Bob requested.

Subject 617 is a genetic test subject that has enhanced speed, mobility and strength. He can grasp onto walls and jumps really high. If that is not bad enough, he is nearly invisible and he has been known to recover health by cannibalizing on the flesh of his victims. Armed with a knife and a few bombs, this guy is a force to to reckoned with. (I gotta stop playing hl2 mods, it's bad for my head)

We meet up with Viridi, Phosphera, and Pitoo as they try to find Pit and Palutena and escape from the Manor.

"Viridi," Phosphera started, "Why are we even finding them anyway, you can easily wipe out the humans without them in the way.

"Well, dispute my goals, Palutena is quite nice to talk to,"

"And that means we have to get Pit out too," Dark Pit (Pitoo) stated, "If we didn't she would probably complain. I swear she has got her eye that moron,"

"I know," Phosphera added, "Pit is always like 'Lady Palutena I'll protect you'. It is so obvious,"

Dark Pit heard a sound, like breathing. Almost like someone was watching them.

"Ladies, you hear that?"

Phosphera yelled and fell to the ground. A stab wound in the neck was found which put the two on survivors on edge.

"Pitoo," Viridi started, "If we don't make it alive, I have something to tell you... I lo..." Just as she was about to finish. A bomb blew up killing Viridi and mortally wounding Dark Pit. As Dark Pit laid on the ground in pain, he heard that breathing again. Then, what seemed like a knife floating in the air went toward his face, making his world go black.

About thirty minutes later, all intruders were dead and the hidden man, subject 617, went back to his chamber to sleep. Bob decided to wake everyone up and revive the dead ones and start a ToD right now.

"Okay, there was a breach in security tonight," Bob stated, "They were murdered by an invisible guy with a knife. As punishment, they all stay here and are part of the ToD," (Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Viridi, Phosphera, Dark Pit, Krystal [like the champagne, lol just kidding, she's from starfox], and Caeda [Marth's wife])

"Caeda, my love," yelled Marth as he ran over to her to kiss her after what seemed like forever.

"I am glad to see you again too, but what is a ToD?"

"A magical event that is amazing for me," Bob responded, "Let's start this ToD, the first dares are from Mother 3 fan and he wants Lucas and Red to make out,"

"Why do I always get the gay dares?" Lucas asked.

"Cuz' your a bitch" Bob said, "Get it over with, dude,"

Red and Lucas made out and the hatted it.

"Zelda, kick some dude in the balls,"

"Well, that is easy," Zelda said as she ran up to Captain Falcon and kicked the man in the balls.

"Now Samus, confess your love or turn into a pikachu,"

"I hate almost everyone here,"

"Pikachu it is," Bob said, "BY THE POWERS OF THE GREAT BOB, TURN THIS MOTHA' FUCKA' INTO A PIKACHU!"

Samus started to shrink, as she was shrinking, she turned yellow and grew a tail. Eventually she was a pikachu.

"pika pi!(God damn it Bob)" Samus pika'ed.

"Oh, you can't speak English Samus," Bob informed her.

"pika pikachu (Hey Samus, you can understand me now, right?),"

"Pika (yes),"

"Pika! Pika! (hooray!)

"I do not understand a pika you both are fucking saying," Bob said in English, "The next ToD's are from xXTGWMNXx and he wants Wario to take a shit then Mario must eat it,"

"No way," Mario denied

"Okay, go in a cage with ten ridleys then, I don't care,"

Mario is teleported to a cage with ten ridleys. All of them went after the plumber but he was ripped to shreds.

"This next ToD is not completely possible because I have a thing that prevents reproduction, just like in half-life 2, but you can do the first part Pit. That is to have sex with Palutena,"

"I knew it," Dark Pit yelled.

"Now there is a special place to do all of this fuckin', it is the love room,"

A room appeared in the hallway with a sign that says 'The Love Room'. Along with that sign are some warnings about the room and a pack of condoms. Pit and Palutena were both very confused. They just made out a week ago and barely spoke about their relationship other than the fact that they are a couple. Sex was a long way for both of them but, they just had to deal with it.

"Uh... Lady Palutena... a-are you... r-ready for this," Pit mummbled.

"Don't worry Pit, I am sure everything will be just fine and we will both have a good time," Palutena said, but in a slightly more seductive tone.

The two walked into the room and you can imagine the rest from there.

"I'll skip the next dare because 2 girls 1 cup is always a bad idea. The next ToD's are from the all powerful guest and he requests Lucas to make a song about his genitals expolding.

"Really?" Lucas said in disbelief.

"Yup," Bob said

_Lucas: One day, I was tricked into,_

_coming to this old mansion._

_I was expecting a fight or two,_

_but I got an old nemesis._

_His name is Mr. InsaneGuy,_

_but he likes to be called Bob._

_The man is an evil tyrant,_

_putting fat-ass Porky in shame._

_But then one day he tried to make me read a story,_

_about fucking my bionic brother._

_And that was when I said 'hell no'_

_then a bad feeling went into my dick._

_Everyone: They exploded_

_They exploded_

_Lucas: My testicles just exploded._

_Everyone: They exploded_

_They exploded_

_Lucas: My penis, exploded too._

_Lucas: It was a horrible feeling, _

_having your manhood all over the house._

_But that was not my biggest worry,_

_For I had turned into a flat-chested tranny._

_Ness: Only seen in Rule 34 land_

_Lucas: Of course, you would know my friend._

_But I would rather take your place,_

_then my balls being on the floor._

_Everyone: They exploded_

_They exploded_

_Lucas: My testicles just exploded._

_Everyone: They exploded_

_They exploded_

_Lucas: My penis, exploded too._

_Bob: I was the guy who made his balls explode, _

_and I have no regrets._

_He disobeyed the dares,_

_and then he got what was fair._

_If you mess with you be beaten from here to Timbuktu._

_And if you still mess with me with me_

_Fuck you!_

_Everyone: They exploded_

_They exploded_

_Lucas: My testicles just exploded._

_Everyone: They exploded_

_They exploded_

_Lucas: My testicles just exploded._

_Everyone: They exploded_

_They exploded_

_Lucas: And my penis..._

_exploded too._

"That was great everyone," Bob announced, "But Luigi, Your performance was horrible! Just awful. I feel more sorry for you than the kid who had his balls explode,"

"But... I tried," Luigi cried.

"Well... you failed miserably, just stand in a corner! Don't come out until I say so,"

Luigi walked to the corner in great shame and cried about his crappy performance.

"Ness, have you ever wanted to meet Satan?"

"Uh... no,"

"Well too bad," said Satan as he rose from Hell.

"Hey Satan, its been a while," Bob greeted.

"I know right, oh, do you have any torture ideas? I am running out of ideas and I need a mad man like you to help me out,"

"I would recommend lava-boarding, you know like water-boarding, but with lava,"

"Amazing! Gotta go now, I'll handle the boy from here," He grabbed Ness's wrist tightly. Ness tired his best to break free, but to no prevail. The dark lord went down into the depths of hell with the boy.

"The next dare requires marring Bowser and Peach, but I do not believe in monster-human marriage, so no can do,"

"Asshole," Bowser yelled.

"Shut the hell up you fat ass turtle piece of shit," Bob yelled, "Hey, Robot Jesus, you got a dare,"

"What is the request?"

"Watch Squidward's Suicide,"

"I already did, It was hilarious, I liked... the part where Squidward... was laughed at... by everyone,"

"Lucas, what is your opinion on twincest?"

"I'm pretty sure if I'd rather have my balls explode than read twincest, It's not good,"

"The next dare requires Pit, he is currently in the love room, but I can tell you that they are currently done fucking around (literately) so...," Bob clapped his hands and a bed with Pit and Palutena was suddenly teleported into the room. The two were covered up sleeping before the teleportation ,but when the bed arrived in the living room, Palutena jumped out of sleep, covering herself with the blanket. Pit just slowly got up and opened his eyes. Once he saw everybody, he jumped as well.

"Why are we in the living room?" Pit yelled.

"Because you got a question and you are not allowed to sleep during a ToD, so wake up and stay in bed. Anyway, Pit are you pissed off at Nintendo for ignoring you for twenty years,"

"Not as angry as I am about you teleporting us here," Pit replied.

"Well whatever, your a penguin again for the rest of the night,"

Pit was immediately turned into a penguin... again.

"Moving onto Marth, Abei the lazy wants you to kiss your...,"Bob paused because he saw Marth and Caeda making out, "Never mind, these next chunk of dares are from a new submitter, MadLaughter, and he wants to ask Sonic if he could give Amy a chance if she gave him some space,"

"I might," Sonic said.

"Yay!" Amy yelled, "I am one step closer to marring Sonic!"

"Ain't foreshadowing fun," Bob said, "You must now make out with Amy,"

"Don't you think we're goin' a bit to fast here," Sonic said.

"But don't you like to go fast, " Amy responded.

"Well... uh...,"

Amy grabs Sonic and starts to make out with him. Sonic couldn't lie, it felt pretty good.

"How was that?" Amy asked.

"Great,"

"Now you must be married," Bob announced.

"You are crazy," Sonic sighed.

"I know," Amy said, "I'm crazy for you, Sonic,"

"Will you marry each other?" Bob asked, being the man to marry the hedgehogs.

"I do," Amy said.

"If you don't, you get your toes cut off by the Mexican mafia," Bob warned.

"I do," Sonic said.

"You two are married now, make out and do other stuff, I need to move on, Kirby, eat Jigglypuff!"

Kirby nodded and sucked the pokemon up and absorb her powers.

"Now Ike must poop out Falco so he can... wait a sec... where is Falco?"

"I just took a crap for the first time in a week, I ate a bad bunch of apples that made me constipated. I hate this vegetarian diet." Ike answered.

Then, a figure came to the door and opened it. Everyone trembled in fear due to the fact that the figure was masked by the darkness of the night and his strong smell.

"Who are you?" Peach asked.

"I'm to young to die!" Toon Link screamed.

"Don't kill me!" Amy begged, "I just got married!"

"Kill me now," Sonic said with great apathy.

The figure wiped his face off, it was Falco covered in fecal-matter

"Will all of you, SHUT... THE... FUCK... UP!"

"Oh, it's you Falco," Fox said in relief.

"Yes, it is... now if you'll excuse me, I need a shower,"

"Dark Pit, kiss either goddess bitch number one (Viridi) or goddess bitch number two (Phosphera) or I'll shoot you,"

"Hey!" Viridi yelled, "I am not a bitch,"

"We all beg to differ," Bob said.

"That tiny gun will only scratch me it can't ki-," Dark Pit was interrupted by Bob, who fired his revolver with the bullet hitting Pittoo's gut.

"As you were saying,"

Dark Pit tried to complete his sentence, but the pain of the shot wound and the blood that he was coughing up made it hard to speak... and live.

"Anyway, the next ToD is from ianagainstcliffhangers and he wants Snake to listen to Rebecca Black,"

"Whatever," Snake said.

Snake listened to the first thirty seconds of Friday and his ears bleed.

"The next ToD is from shadow djinni and this person would like to know why Ganon kidnaps Zelda so often,"

"She was the Triforce of Wisdom and I want it!" Ganondorf yelled.

"Well, too bad," Zelda taunted.

"I guess we are done here," Bob announced, "Good night," Bob walked off to bed.

"Pika Pika (I wonder when I'll be human again)," Samus pika'd

"Pika-chu (Don't worry, being a pikachu is not bad. Your not getting hit on all the time),"

"Pika (That is true),"

**I just want to thank everyone who continues to send in ToD's, as well as the new people who sent there's in this chapter. This is the longest chapter yet, sorry it took 3 weeks to write. I had to do more schoolwork for the state tests coming soon. **


	5. That chapter that revived the ToD!

It was an amazing day at Smash Manor, the sun was setting andPit was enjoying a picnic with Palutena.

"I really had a fun time today," said Palutena.

"Yeah, except for being turned into a jar of peanut butter,"

"That was hilarious," Palutena laughed, "Almost as funny as your reaction when we had to... do it."

Pit blushed. "Yeah, never would do that now."

"Well, A lot can change in a few months."

The two just sat back watching the sunset until the sky "glitched out" showing a flash of 0's and 1's.

"What the heck..." Pit started until he heard some static then an unbearable pain went to his head. As he was screaming in pain, Palutena tried to help him with her limited abilities. As the pain faded out, he started to hear a voice.

"Pit... Pit,"

"What is going on?" The angel asked himself.

"It's me Viridi." said the voice.

"How the...,"

"You need to get out of there,"

"Out of where?" Pit yelled.

"The simulation that you are in, no one is real, after the 2nd chapter everyone was put in a simulation that included different scenarios for everyone and just chose the best,"

"So nothing in the 3rd Chapter... was real?" Pit asked in great disappointment.

"Yes, now Samus is doing something to your simulation, she tells me that things might get a bit hostile."

There were more glitches then Palutena's eyes started to glow red, she walked slowly toward him, like a zombie. Pit was terrified of this, he did not know what to believe, so he ran to the Manor. Everyone inside had the same blank, red-eyed expression. Pit was cornered by the Brawlers. If only he could fly.

Just as the Brawlers lunged at him, Pit found himself in a capsule. Stripped nude with wires attached to him. The door to the capsule opened and he fell out onto the floor.

"What is this... the M-matrix," Pit said, tired and weak.

So the voice in his head was right, he was in a simulation and now he is out. He took a look at his surroundings. There were many other capsule of everyone else along the walls of the room. He walked out the door, only to be meet by Dark Pit.

"So it worked, that's good...uh... here's a towel," Dark Pit tossed the towel to Pit and Pit covered himself up. Dark Pit also handed him his old first blade. Crappy, but got the job done.

They made their way out of the area without a problem. They went to an old spaceship hovering around outside. The ship lowered and opened its door. The two angels walked inside and found some of their friends. Viridi, Phosphora, Pikachu, Samus, and a few unknown passengers. One of them had a cannon for a hand and wore blue armor. There was a woman with no face and it looked like she was ready for a jog and there was a small boy with a big happy head, holding a net.

"Why couldn't I pick him up," The faceless women complained, "I wanted to get that jog in for the day,"

"Jogging on a stealth mission is a dumb idea," Said the blue man.

"Pit," Phosphera began, "I introduce you to MegaMan, Wiifit Trainer, and Villiger, they have been help us with the rescues,"

"What is going on, I was talking to Palutena then she tried to kill me!"

"Bob is gone," Samus said.

"Isn't that good?"

"No, Robot Jesus took over and put you all in capsules to keep the ToD going, but it failed and was forgotten, Me and Pikachu barely escaped,"

"So now what?"

"Viridi and Phosphera are going to give you and Dark Pit the power of flight, go in and destroy Robot Jesus,"

"Guess I don't have a choice,"

"Now put some clothes on, you can't fight in a towel,"

After Pit got dressed, Dark Pit and him flew off to the throne room of Robot Jesus, but when the two got there, they weren't there.

"Where are you, coward," Dark Pit yelled.

"He is right by me,"

From the shadows comes the man we all love, Mr. InsaneGuy! (Bob)

"Now I am really confused," Pit said.

"Well let me catch you up to speed," Bob started, "One day, I really went nuts, like so nuts I could not control myself, Robot Jesus took over and everyone had their own simulation, with good things happening to them, thing that they wanted to happen. It took me three months to get my act together and I have killed millions of people, quite an accomplishment, I am ready to be back here again,"

"No!" Pit pleaded.

"Yup, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE BITCHES!" Bob spell made everyone come to his location, most of them were naked from the capsules so everyone freaked out until Bob gave them clothes.

"Listen up, Same rules, but since everyone who has reviewed has probably forgotten about this by now I make up the ToD's! So Wiifit Bitch..."

"Trainer!" The WiiFit Trainer corrected.

"Don't care, someone was on the phone earlier, all I heard was static and screaming and your name so I guess its for you,"

"Oh that's just my husband, Charles, most of you may know him as the Slenderman,"

Everyone stood blank of a second, then there was panic about the Slenderman.

"Guys, relax, he only stalks and murders people during work hours, he is quite friendly once you get to know him. I'll tell ya, it is hard to find a man with no face that will love you like Charles,"

"Oh crap, If I knew you were his wife, I would not have been such a dick to you, sorry your husband is a really good employee," Bob apologized.

"Its alright,"

"Now for the fun, how were your simulations,"

"Great!" Luigi screamed I treated with respect!"

"I had money!" Wario exclaimed.

"I went out with Pit," Palutena said. Everyone was surprised by this, even Pit.

"I knew it Phosphera, give me my ten bucks," Viridi cheered.

"What was yours, Pit?" Palutena asked.

"Uh... flying... lots of flying... not a crippled angel anymore... just flyin' threw the sky," Pit's lie was awful, but it worked. Palutena's response to his answer was on of disappointment. He felt bad, but he did not want her to know about the things that went on in the simulation.

"Now I am moving on to something special," Bob announced. He pulled out his revolver and shot Luigi in the gut, "Okay, now for the special thing. A FIGHT TO THE DEATH! Last four are the winners!"

To be honest guys, I can't really make up ToD's like this, I need your help. Pick 4 winners, 1 chick and 3 guys. Then write your ToD's in a review and I will get to them a in a few weeks.


	6. Zombies, Pokemurder, and attraction

It was a beautiful day at Smash Manor. Dead bodies were everywhere and zombies were chasing Ness, Snake, Samus, and Link.

"They are on our backs!" yelled Snake, shooting at the horde as he ran. Then a zombified Diddy Kong jumped onto Ness and started to steer him into the horde.

"HELP!" Ness screamed, "One is literately on my back,"

Samus shot Diddy off of Ness's back but the horde got him and knocked him down. The others mowed down the zombies to get Ness on his feet again. Once he had gotten up, Link noticed that he was in serious need of first aid so he handed him his first aid kit.

"Thanks," said Ness after he healed up, Link just nodded, he never really speaks much.

"Sharing is great and all but we need to move!" Samus yelled.

They ran to the manor, where they were supposed call in a heilcopter, and stop this mess. But first, they went to a saferoom.

"How did any of you survive out in that fight to the death anyway," Samus asked.

"PSI Rockin' Omega made my day easy, it sucks that I killed Paula in the blast," Ness answered.

"I just hid in a box,"

And Link just grunted.

"Luckily, I had my power suit on and it was at full charge so yeah,"

They walked out side the saferoom to the next area, the roof of the Manor. Supplies like ammo an first aid where there along with a radio to contact the helicopter. Link tried to call in the helicopter, but that didn't work out so Snake did it and waves after waves of zombies attacked them. The four survivors shot them down easily but after those waves, they noticed Link was missing. They looked for him and found him entrapped by a zombified Yoshi's tongue. They killed the yoshi and the helicpoter came.

"Finally," Ness cheered.

But the cheering was to early because buff zombified Bowser ran at them. The survivors ran to the chopper but they were met by another buff zombie, but this time it was Ganondorf.

"well, this is it," Snake said.

Just then Link distracted the two brutes into attacking him, leaving the others a straight path to victory.

"Link, you mad-man, you're going to miss out on your infinite cookie reward!" Samus yelled.

"He wants us to go," Ness said, "So lets do that,"

The three made it to the chopper, but Link was pinned down by a zombie Pit with claws ripped him apart.

"Okay that was fun," Bob said, teleporting down and reviving everyone, "but we have ToD's soon so get cleaned up and then we will start,"

Pit apologized for ripping Link apart and he forgave him. Then he went to the hot spring when Paula stopped him.

"Pit, I know what happened in that simulation and you never flew,"

"But, ho-,"

"Telepathy,"

"Oh yeah, but why would you do that?!"

"Because something was up with you, I think you should confess it to Palutena,"

"I can't say I did that to Lady Palutena,"

"But it is something you have wanted,"

"Can I just get to my hot spring?"

"Sure, but keep in mind that the situation might be worse if you wait," Paula walked away but Pit was still not going to tell Lady Palutena, As long as she was in her typical clothes, nothing will go wrong.

"Welcome back to the ToD! Today we are going to dress like people do in an anime high school," Bob announced. (I'll be honest, I am not a big fan of anime, Although if you want to recommend one to me go ahead. My friend irl suggests shows with WAY too much fan-service and I am not attracted to lines on a screen :P)

Just imagine everyone changing into anime school clothes magically.

"Why am I wearing such a short skirt?" Peach asked.

"Apparently that is anime, enjoy,"

"Darn it," Pit whispered to himself. It was as if some doushebag made it to where he was mentally tortured. (That's because it is!) He thought the goddess looked amazing in that outfit, but still tried to not focus.

"So let's get started with Mario tied in a chair,"

Mario was instantly tied to a wooden chair. He struggled to get out but it was useless. Soon, Peach and Bowser appeared before him.

"The first dare is from Tsukuyomi," Bob annonced, and it is for Peach to kiss Bowser while Mario is tied up,"

"Peach, That skirt makes you so sexy," Bowser flirted.

"Oh God! HELP ME!" Peach screamed.

"Just get it over with," yelled Wii Fit Trainer.

"fine," Peach said with great apathy. She gave bowser a little peck on the cheek and ran off.

"HEY! I thought she was going to kiss me on the lips... and give me some tongue," Everyone nearly vomited at that part.

"The dare was a kiss, nothin' more," Bob explained, "Olimar eat a fire flower.

Oilmar picked up a fire flower that was growing in the Manor's garden and took a bit. He sweated and his mouth was literally on fire, but it was still not as bad as spicy curry.

"oh and while we are at this, Olimar, do you think Louie can talk to bugs?"

"I hope not," Olimar gasped.

"Link, swim across Rayquesa's lake unarmed, if you do it you will get those infinite cookies you missed out on,"

Link walked to the lake and set his weapons on the ground by him. He put on his blue tunic and dived into the water, Fear and anticipation was on everyone's face as they saw him swim to the other side. Then, the Rayquesa swam up to him and attacked. Link was on the Pokemon's head and was repeatedly punching it in the eye. The Rayquesa dived into the lake, but soon arose again with an eye missing.

The pokemon gave up and retreated and Link finished his swim.

"Okay, that was the most bad-ass thing I ever saw!" Bob yelled, now moving on to dares sent by ParasiTeGuest. This person wants Wario to burn his money,"

"Never!" Wario yelled as he ran up to his pile of money and guarded it.

"Fine, I'll do it for you," Bob said as he clapped his hands. Wario and the money.

"Pit, how good was it," Bob asked, "Wait, what the fuck is it,"

"Yeah Pit, do you know what it is," Paula pestered.

"Uh... the person probably meant flying, it was fun," Pit lied.

"Is that the only thing you did?" Palutena asked.

"That and uh... eat lots of food while in a hot spring,"

"Oh," Palutena sighed.

Paula glared at Pit, her expression pretty much said for him to fess up and tell the truth.

"Yoshi, Bob started, "Why do you lay eggs if you're a dude,"

"Yoshi," Yoshi-ed Yoshi.

"Yeah, that told us nothing, Lucario read Captain Falcon's mind and also Snake's

Lucario focused and read the two men's mind's. In Captain Falcon's all he heard was boobs over and over again. In Snake's mind, there was some music from Metal Gear Solid.

"Now for Samus and Marth to enjoy 10 minutes in heaven, but there is no such thing as heaven so..."

Bob shot the two in the head.

"No heaven, so there is no God," Paula asked.

"There is, but that guy quit his job and now heaven is my summer home," Bob said, "Looks like that is all, Enjoy your cookies to those who wave them.

Samus looked up from hell as Bob said that.

"Once I am alive again, I need to get Train with Wii Fit Trainer or else those cookies will go to my hips,"

Back on Earth, Pit walked up to Paula as she was talking to Viridi.

"Paula, I just want you to stop bugging me about... uh Virdi, I thought you hated humans,"

"Oh Paula's alright for a human, she recycles and her parents before they were killed by Bob. But, what where you talking about?"

"Pit just wanted to tell me to stop bugging him about having sex with Palutena in the simulation," Paula answered.

"You, and Palutena," Viridi laughed, "That is hilarious,"

"And having a relationship," Paula finished.

"Wow," Viridi laughed

"PAULA!"

"It's just a good idea to be honest with your friends,"

"and person that that you want to screw,"

"VIRIDI!"

"and besides pit," Paula began, "Palutena said herself that she went out with you in her simulation, so what's the harm,"

"The Angel's code of conduct says that you can't have dirty thoughts, especially not with the goddess,"

"Wow, strict rules, but the fact remains the same. Just tell her,"

Thanks for reading everyone. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I just want to ask you guys a few things.

What is a good nick name for Wii Fit Trainer? Toon Link's is Toony.

What should the next beginning have? Like this chapter had zombies from left 4 dead? What game should I spoof next?


End file.
